THE CURATED MIND

Here are all of the birthdays I can remember clearly:

6: (1988) I had my first sleepover but thought it was a “spin” the night party and couldn’t figure out how to ask my friends from school to come over and spin with me.
7: (1989) Mom brought ice cream to school, and I felt like a queen with the most friends.

9: (1991) A trip down rainbow river. I have some memory of pouring Parmesan cheese all over Eric at pizza hut. I also remember him being

really really afraid of manatees.
10. (1992) A trip to the beach with 4 bffs; awkward white bathing suit.
11: (1993) A sleepover where I got Mickey Mouse boxers and white overalls. I got really mad at Eric for trying to hang out with my friends when we were swimming in the pool.
14: (1996) My parents threw me a surprise party with about 25 jrs. and srs. from sch

ool. I was a freshman, and I didn’t know many of the people at all. I was super embarrassed and angsty all night. I think there is a part of a home video where I look into the camera and ask something like “I’m supposed to like this?”
15: (1997) About 10 friends went to Applebees and then we went bowling. It was 10th grade, and it was awesome!
16: (1998) My cousin Matt came in town from Virginia, and I had a HUGE sweet 16 party. We (me and about 75 of my friends) had catered Carraba’s in the garden with swing music and every body dressed up. Then, we changed into fun clothes and played capture the flag all over the neighborhood.
17: (1999) My mom brought a football cake and ice cream to school, and I had a great lunch with all of my friends!
18: (2000) Pretty uneventful; went to Ruth’s Chris steakhouse with my family.
19: (2001) Saw Monty Python’s Holy Grail in the theatre with a few friends.
20: (2002) My boyfriend at the time threw me a surprise party with friends. It was really great, and I think we might have ended up singing Christmas carols with homeless people by the end of the night.
21: (2003) There used to be a burger king in Gainesville where someone would come out of the back door of the building and take your order, only to return a few minutes later with your bag. Needless to say, it went out of business. A really crappy sports bar tried to make it there for a few months…. in those few months I had my 21st birthday there.
22:

(2004) My ex-boyfriend (the same one as before) threw me a wine and cheese party and lots of great friends came over.
23: (2005) James and I went to Tampa to see my parents. My mom took me to a spa and we all spent the day on the boat in the bay tubing and stopping at random islands.
24: (2006) My first all girl birthday party since I was 11; went to dinner with my best g

irl friends. Later that night James surprised me by coming into town from DC. He took me to dinner and a play!
25: (2007) Saw La Boheme in simulcast on the National Mall with friends; went to Cheesecake factory for dinner. 26: (2008) Marisha, Rachel, Heather and Virginie surprised me in Adam’s Morgan with dinner, a cake, flowers and balloons. It was a great g

irls night out! Some of my students also surprised me with cupcakes in the shape of a gator. :)
27: (2009) Some awesome students made me waffles and ice cream with fresh fruit and fresh squeezed orange juice for breakfast. Later some friends came over for dinner and this weekend James took me on a “staycation” here in Alexandria where we stayed at a super modern hotel and spa. He arranged everything and took me to get an hour-long prenatal massage at the spa!

I’m not really too pregnant yet. I notice a difference but others who don’t know me are still saying “Wow- you look great” or “I wouldn’t have known if ____ hadn’t told me.”
Those are not the comments that I mind. The comments that leave me feeling a little upset are these:

• I keep forgetting that you are pregnant and find myself noticing how big you are getting.
• oh yep…now I can see it (the weight) in your back…(a week later)…yep, I can see it in your face too!
• I’m glad you are pregnant because I thought you had just gotten heavy over the summer!
• Well, I’m sure none of your clothes will fit you again once you have the baby. Your waistline is just never the same.
• Now your butt looks like mine!
• Whoa there Jennifer, be careful in that chair. I get so nervous that it is going to break since it shakes so much every time you sit down.
• Are you going to give birth to a manatee or something?
• You really need to buy a bigger shirt.
  

I’ll add more when they come…because I’m sure they are going to keep coming.

It’s weird being 15 weeks pregnant. I am not quite showing, and I’m not really sick. So…I’m constantly walking around wondering “Am I really?”…but I know I am. It’s only a matter of time before my body convinces my mind. :)

In the meantime, I have all of these questions about if I should get vaccinated? If we should find out the sex of the baby? Who should be present at the birth? No answers now….but I’m sure I’ll be back to this topic many times in the near future.

So, in June my brother was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, which is cancer in the ly

mph nodes. It really came out of nowhere. He was fine and planning a visit to Virginia. Then, he was sick and came anyway. My family came too and he started chemo in July because it was rapidly spreading through his body. He had 20-25 cancers throughout his neck, torso and back.
I went out to see him in August for his 7th treatment and it was great to be with him. And there is reason for celebration now too. He is finally finishing his chemo tomorrow. My mom, dad and grandparents are out there with him to celebrate the end of this crazy, nasty summer. He has been a champion.
So there—- that’s why I haven’t been blogging. I haven’t had anything to say that seemed more important than that and I guess part of me wanted to see him get through it before I started writing about it.

I still don’t have much to say about it. Perhaps the really deep thing I’ve been looking for the words to describe is actually pretty simple: cancer sucks.

(the fact that my granddaddy got on an airplane is a major deal. Everyone is doing anything they can to show him love these days)

So, I got a new Macbook Pro and finally figured out how to import my old playlists into the new iTunes, which inspired me to make a new playlist. I think I might try to tell some of the stories linked with these songs, but for now the list will have to be enough:

1. Chicago by Sufjan Stevens

2. Consequence by The Notwist

3. With Arms Outstretched by Rilo Kiley

4. Guster by Happier

5. Butterflies and Hurricanes by Muse

6. Last Goodbye by Jeff Buckley

7. Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk by Rufus Wainwright

8. Jesus Was A Cross Maker by Judee Sill

9. Ain’t Got No/I Got LIfe by Nina Simone

10. Diggin Me by Martin Sexton

11. Alone Everybody by Lori Chaffer

12. Track 03 by Mates of State

13. Salvation Song by The Avett Brothers

14. Take Me Home, Country Road by John Denver

15. At Least I Got A Car by Don Chaffer

16. The Luckiest by Ben Folds

17. This Year’s Love by David Gray

I should also add that if I had copies of other songs, I would surely add them to this list. Included would be:

1. this song by the Christian rock band Petra about the sleeping giant awakening tonight!!!

2. some rap song from high school that I don’t know the real words for, but that I sing “hey, yarei, baby I got your money, don’t you worry, yarei”

3. a song called Wish We’d All Been Ready from the 1970s movie A Thief in the Night about the rapture.

4. I Believe I Can Fly by R Kelly

Just for fun, here is a clip from the movie. Looking back now, it’s scarier than any other movie I’ve ever seen.